“Jew Retreat” by Noah Ballard


C  Am  Em  G  D

             C           C  Am
Only on the Jew Retreat,
                Am      Em     Em  G
We dont eat non-kosher meat,
                  C                  Em        A
Even though the chicken tastes like old moldy feet.
  C            Am
Rabbi told us not to say “oy,”
  Em                    D
But our counselor is a pot smokin’ goy.
    C                               Am
The ten mosquito bites I got are starting to swell
         G                        D                           D
(shout) HEY SUSSMAN, (sings) the bunk is really starting to smell!
     C             Am
The only friend I have here is a racoon,
      G                   D                G  Am  Em  G  D
I dressed him up, and I named him Roon.


(CHORUS)
  F          G     C
Only on the Jew Retreat.
             C           C  Am
Only on the Jew Retreat,
                Am      Em     Em  G
We dont eat non-kosher meat,
                  C                  Em        A
Even though the chicken tastes like old moldy feet.

    G                D
I took a ride on a boat in Suprise Lake,
               C                   Am         D
(Shout) Well Suprise! (sings) The boats are fake!
  G                      D
Matt Berit looks like Frodo Baggins,
      Am                        Em           D       A
We dressed him up and played Dungeons and Dragons.
 D                 C
The other day, we took a long hike,
            D                                 Am
(speaks) I beat everyone both ways; (sings) I had a bike!
             C        Am
And on this hike, I tripped on a rock,
    C                   Am          D
It really hurt cos I sprained my co---- (stumbles) FOOT!!!


(CHORUS)
             C           C  Am
Only on the Jew Retreat,
                Am      Em     Em  G
We dont eat non-kosher meat,
                  C                  Em        A     D
Even though the chicken tastes like old moldy feet.


(SOLO/BRIDGE)

/= slide up

e        2      4      6    6  5  1/2
B      3      5      7   7  7  6  2/3
G    2      4      6        6  5  1/2
D  0                        0  0  0
A                           0  0  0
E                           0  0  0


 D                               C
This camp used to house a young Neal Diamond,
                    D             C                   
(speaks) I heard a knock on my window last night, (sings)
 G                          D   G   D
They still cant find him!
             C           C  Am
Only on the Jew Retreat,
                Am      Em     Em  G
We dont eat non-kosher meat,
                  C                  Em        A     D
Even though the chicken tastes like old moldy feet.
    C            D
Oh man it’s the Jew Retreat,
 C                        G
Are you hiding un-kosher meat?
     G  D    C      Am            Em       A
When I get home I really need to soak my feet.